So if you’ve been brave enough (coughcoughNOTMEcoughcough) to raise your Robsession Freak Flag to your real life friends you may have encountered some resistance. I’ve heard it all before, some people just don’t get it, they just can’t grasp his appeal, his personality, his talent, his pure sexuality. So what are you supposed to do…slink away silently and give up…NO WAY.
As much as I hate the idea of bringing more gals onto the RobTrain, that sh*t has to be defended. Rob is HOT, no question & here are some tips to help you convert the non-believers…
Tip #1 Break out your copy of RobQ (GQ with Rob on the cover). This is a CLASSIC & has stood the test of time. Make sure you show them your least damaged, stained, wrinkled, drooled on copy. They need to get the full effect!
Don’t have RobQ (shame on you) break out a picture of your fave RobQ Outtake…here’s mine.
More tips to convert the non-believers after the hump
Tip #2 Have your RL friends listen to this amazing compilation of some of Rob’s greatest interview moments. This is what pushed many of us from drooling fan to completely gobsmacked Robsessed. Get comfy, this is 8 minutes of adorkable f*ckhawt! This never EVER gets OLD…LIKE EVER. I’m swooning all over again, especially Rob at the first Comic Con.
Tip #3 Break out GuitarBert. Yes that’s right let them listen to the swoon-worthy singing of Mr. Pattinson.
Rob Singing Stray Dog
Tip#4 Break out the the serious shizz…RomeRob! The Original panty dropper…ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE! No one can resist banged 6-ways to Sunday RomeRob. Have the hose and the towels ready & press play.
Tip#5 Avoid showing them pictures of ZygoteRob & Creepy Uncle Rob at ALL COSTS
Tip #6 Only after you have gone through Tips 1-5 should you break out your Twilight DVD and introduce Robward. Introducing Robward too early in the process could completely F*ck it up and derail any and all progress. Robert is miles away from Edward & this needs to be made very clear. You may need to break out Drunk Robin order to drive this point home.
Tip #7 Optional, slap em with the f*ckhawt black v-neck tee shirt…’NUF SAID!
If after all this your RL friends still don’t get it, F*ck Em, they never will. Just come to RAoR and play with us & remember that’s one less BITCH we have to beat back in our pursuit of His Holy Hotness Rob AMEN SISTAS!