It’s Saturday ladies time to kick back and enjoy the view!
FrenchROB – Whatta man by RobsButtonsBabe
more hawtness after the sizzle…
Oh My GOD by our Foof76
This is so damn HOT!
You Give me Fever by Nicnax666
Saturday Funny by collegehumor
For My Robstens – this is hawt by tbird4u1
Filed under Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Videos
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+ FANFICTION = ME in HEAVEN!
The FEVER Series: LITERARY CRACK!
The Black Dagger Brotherhood:
Midnight Breed Series:
Complete with pictures of Rob as Georges Duroy!
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Fuck Me foof!!!
HAWT!!!!
Leisha,
Your avi is killing me! Gaaahhhh!
I totes agree, Leisha!
Foof76-You vid is f*ckhawt! Gaah!
Love the twilight deleted sex scene…lol
Don’t you mean ‘your’ vid” ATR???
Why the hell can’t I see my new avi!!! Not fair!!! Everyone else can see it, but I can’t!!!
Jizztyping again…..My brain stopped functioning momentarily..Oops! HeeHee.
Its ok ATR…that’s totes understandable!!!
Ok…to get a new avi, I had to change my name…so it’s alwaysrp60, but really, it’s me, SUS *waves*…..I’ll put Sus @ the end so you all know.
ANYWAY, F*HAWT vids as always, JAG! I’m still recovering from those photos from today…noticed everyone else has put them in their avis, too…great minds (and bodies) think alike! Those seriously are the hottest Robpics I think I’ve ever seen!
Shout-out to our very own Foof…..OhMYGAWD…love it!
And as always, JAG, you’re my Queen!
Jag, for gawdsake, PLEASE post the new vid with the new/old photos on it that RobCat posted previously..
IF I DON’T WATCH IT AGAIN…IMMEDIATELY…NOW…I’M GONNA HAVE TOTAL HEART FAILURE…!!!!
Those photos are the f*khawtest shoot he’s ever done (and I include GQ in that) Its a total cumfest!
jochiify,
I agree. They are the hottest of all. It’s only gonna rev the madness even more because these pics are gonna hit more and more women HARD. Poor Rob. I don’t think he could top those pictures a bit. He’s has the most expressive face I’ve ever seen. Sexual one minute, angelic the next, evil after that, intelligent after that….on and on….sigh.
Someone in yesterday’s post posted the URL to that new video with Rob from his newest photo shoot release. I’m sure there will be 10′s by tomorrow. LOL
I still hope there isn’t a Robsten but…watch this vid from the 3:25 mark. When he talks about being in love with someone, the other cast members smile at each other as if their onto something.
Tell me what you think
I seriously think she ‘projects’ off of Rob, she’s doin’ the whole, fingers thru hair, talk with hands, she’s even clipping off her words, sounding more like him..it’s hard to explain.
Put it this way, if she’s not doin’ him, I can’t imagine having access to him and not having a crack…hmmm…then she definitely wants to!
I meant, “they’re onto something.”
Yeah, I agree I find it very hard to believe that something isn’t going on between Rob and Kristen, even if they’re only friends with benefits, there is no way that if Kristen was a normal, heterosexual woman, that she wouldn’t want a piece of that man!
They’re in a relationship. His heart is taken right now ladies and it’s Kristen. It’s extremely obvious. This video is just one of a few that show it. Ashley’s eye’s get huge for a split second when he mentions love. Taylor and Ashley think it’s hilarious because he can’t concentrate anymore. One word.. Kristen.
yay!!!! I love it when one of my vids gets put up here!!! I’m glad you like it, ladies!
I made it with nothing but the worst intentions.
Great video foof76!!
Your video is amazing! I never saw that scene at 2:50. Epic win video.
Your vid was awesome! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!
Got my tickets for NM tonight…for the 12:01 a.m. showing….I’ll be out there w/my local cougar Pattinsluts, and of course, all the tweenies…GAH! Going to look at latest RobSexPics, then *POOF* and RobDreamland…..
xoSus
…*put me on the table*..la la la…That’s the only comment one can give to these videos!!…
*put me on the table…la la la…and r(u)ob me the right way…la la la* *blush* *sigh* arrrgh
I don’t mean this sexually, but emotionally…..those new pictures of Rob made me cry just now. They are SO beautiful and SO emotional. There’s one picture where he looks like he’s going to cry he’s so emotionally vulnerable exposing himself from the inside out. They make you just want to put your arms around him and cradle him to your breast, you know? He knows how to reach us and he KNOWS how to tap into his inner emotions, which makes him such an emotional actor as well. I mean it, just like you all mean it, even if we ARE sexually aroused by him and horny biatches….the truth is he makes us all LOVE HIM…..how can you not?
God he makes me cry when his eyes look so sad.
That’s the most beautiful photo shoot I think I’ve EVER seen by ANYBODY. Just like for all of us, he’s able to cut right down to our core using his whole face and body, but especially his EYES.
They just break my heart. I love him so. I know we all do…. I’m so moved by those pictures, I can’t stop staring at them. I rotate them to look into his eyes as we lay in the same direction on my bed. It’s so comforting to see him like that. I will make one my wallpaper so when I read my fan fic stories from my laptop while laying on my side, I can close the window and see his face there. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get over this…..whatever this is. He has some kind of grip over us all. His heart just LEAPS off the pictures…you know?
I totally agree with you Chloe, I just want to wrap Rob up in my arms and hold him, and kiss him, and make all his bad feelings go away. He is much, much too beautiful to be having any bad feelings at all. It makes me so sad, and frustrated that he has to hide himself from the world because of ignorant people who lack self-control!
I could not have expressed myself better …THE BEST PHOTO SHOOT NO QUESTION…ALL THE RAW EMOTION & lets say BEAUTY…OMG
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Foof76 that is smokin….and its got it all….my brain is just numb and my boy shorts are on fire….
I know I am now a regular here at RAOR cos I opened my eyes and thought ‘Hell yeah its video Saturday’ lol….
God I am just totally in love this morning…I got it so freakin bad for this man….its unreal..
Its that stare to start off just melts a hole in my shorts…the hair the eyes the jaw what i want to do to those soft lips the hand /the hand through the hair the ass candy the robcrotch…that f*&king thumb even…
the man just oozes sex from every pore
and as for Robsten whatever but she is the luckiest girl on the planet just to be able to touch him….
roll on New Moon I was quite depressed yesterday cos I heard it might not be out til November 27th in the UK…that would suck I hope its just a rumour…anybody have any facts on that…
I’m feelin the same thing for Rob that you are …. I think the women like us of the world are quaking tonight. He has us and we are completely trapped by his gaze. We can’t even save ourselves…he’s gone to deep now….. Those pictures are just too much to filter in one day…..sleep on it. I am.
@I’m going down, the New Moon site says November 20th for UK which had better be right cos I’m taking that week off work so that I can go the first showing!
I agree I’m going down, I think we all have it bad for this man! He is the epitome of sexiness, every thing about him is a turn on. Yesterday, my daughter argued with me that there must be something that I don’t like about Rob. She showed me different pictures and YouTube videos, and I still told her that I love everything about him. Then I got to thinking, there is one thing that I don’t like about Rob, the fact that he isn’t mine!
I am so excited. the New Moon premiere is at the bruin theater in westwood, CA on Nov 16!! that’s right next to UCLA where i go to school! I just don’t know if i want to be among a bunch of screaming girls.. i’m pretty sure i’ll have the urge to slap them. i’ve never done anything like this… but i feel compelled to see them in person.
Jochiify … here’s the RobVideo with the NEW/OLD pics that came out yesterday you asked for.
My life is complete…may naked Robs rain face forward upon you my love! xxx
RobCatCdn:
Well, bugger me ……… that black shirt/sex hair ….. *fans self* ……… nope, can’t carry on …………………………………..
*sigh*
Oh crap ….. now he’s laid on the floor …… it’s too, too much!!!!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you – but, got to go … erm *cough* take care of things *shuffle, cough-cough*
x
I’m SO emotional tonight/this morning and sleepy to do anything about it like my insane masturbation last night from chapter 16, but I’m barely awake and typing because I HAD to get to the last chapter of “CLIPPED WINGS, INKED ARMOR”. Oh my god I wish I had more energy now, I am just so emotionally SPENT from seeing the newest and most beautiful, erotic Rob pictures I’ve EVER SEEN to do anything about it because it’s gonna be powerful when I do….staring into his amazing eyes. I am just so so so emotionally attached to this creature that is Rob. I wish to god I could get over this madness, but I can’t. I will have to save my intense orgasm from chapter 20 of “Clipped Wings, Inked armor’ for another night when I can DEVOTE EXTREME STRENGTH AND PASSION towards reading that chapter AGAIN and doing something about it in response to it’s extremely intense sexual grasp fan fic story has on my clitoris and mental sex space that is far beyond the walls I keep it hidden behind because of fear of breaking apart from having no man to share it with. It’s just too much for tonight. I would rather curl up with my emotions and longing for Rob tonight and go to sleep staring into his powerful and intense gaze. It’s too much….it’s just too much overload to my system. However, I know I will dream of his member pulsating inside me tonight and wake up from a wet dream smiling. Half of sex for women is in the mind. The more imagination and intensity you create in your head, the better the orgasm. Sigh…..sleep well ladies. I know he will fill your dreams with the same erotic pleasure that I am experiencing from the intensity of our sexual and longing need for that man to be inside us……it’s just too much and I just want to sleep and go where I will never get to go with him. At least he is there in my head. I wish he wasn’t, but he is. sigh
I had a really HOT Robdream last night, and I can’t wait until tonight to finish where I left off, but damn, it’s still morning, I don’t know if I can wait that long. Maybe I should just kick the kids out of the house so I can take a nap!
Lynda…Yeah “Clipped Wings and Inked Armor” is SO SO SO HOT! GAWD. I wish I could find a man that could stretch out foreplay like THAT character can. GAHHHHHHHHHH But honestly, have you EVER met a man who could hold back THAT MUCH from penetration for SO LONG? GAWD NO. No wonder he’s jacking off. LOL I’m a bit worried about the police car across the street. That’s probably gonna fuck up next chapter with no lemons. LOL I mean, jesus, we waited a long time for those lemons, but once we got them, MAN WERE THEY HOT. woof.
If they don’t hurry up and finish that YOU KNOW WHAT….and get it on, I’m gonna scream! LOL hehhehehehehh I may read chapter 16 and 20 again tonight. LOL I promise NOT to post about it though. And everyone says…>ALRIGHT! YAHHHHHHH
Holy Hell. Are you guys trying to kill me? And those new pics, spontaneous ovarian combustion….Mission accomplished. DIED…THUD!
Thinking of Rob have some detagged photos from newest photoshoot pics…
http://thinkingofrob.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/some-detagged-pics-of-rob-from-the-mark-segal-photoshoot/
unleishd,
you’re the best! thanks for posting the untagged pics. I was just thinking yesterday how I’d like to use one as my avi, but couldn’t b/c of watermarks.
But NOW well YEH! Now if I can only figure out how to do this…… ??
Fuuuuckkk Meee! Why did I look at those pictures? I think I’m having a heart attack, I can see my heart pumping like it’s trying to burst out of my chest! I better calm down before I pass out! *note to self- Don’t go back and look at that again!
Okay I’m an addict so I couldn’t resist another hit, OMG! OMG! OMG! That’s it, I’M GOING DOWN!
RobSexMe – If you want to create your own Avi, just go to the top of the page – there’s a menu on the right hand side and under About you can click on “How to change your Avitar” – it takes you to WordPress and you just create an account and then you can set up an Avi in your profile.
Never commented before but today is just too much. Those new pics are unfreakin believable. He is seriously the prettiest man- it hurts to look at him. I come to this sight everyday(that’s what she said) and I am never disappointed and now every night neither is my husband. Rob does things to me I almost have an orgasm just looking at him.
Welcome!
Well said, feathers … and welcome
amen feathers
Rob is just perfection – down to earth personality but his physical beauty is unreal.
The Twilight love scene spoof is really funny and foof76′s video was hot. They all were though.
unleishd,
Thanks, I love these new detagged photos – the facial hair is just right and his skin coloring is so beautiful – just one thing – why is Rob wearing a nice shirt & vest w/ sweatpants? After I get over the hawtness of these pics I always wonder about that combo.
He’s probably wearing sweatpants to give him more room so he doesn’t feel so constricted.
totes agree spunkransomlover and he knew if he were wearing anything more constrictive that showed off more of his ummm BULGE we’d all go into cardiac arrest for sure… I’m not sure I’m not going into one now …… CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT THOSE PICS …. !!
@lovpattz…. because the photographer is a very smart man and knows that all it would take is one swift tug on those strings and/or the waistband and all of our dreams would come true… Holy Peen, be praised!!!
*fantasizing in 3…2…1…*
*POOF!*
Okay, I fell asleep last night reading fanfic, and had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever had. I would go into detail, but that may take up too much time, so let’s just say it involved me, spread out on a diving board, and Rob’s tongue. Okay, now back to reality, as usual, when I wake up in the morning, I like to check out what’s happening here at ROaR, and as usual I AM NOT disappointed! Jag, those videos are awesome! Thanks for giving me something else to dream about tonight. I can alternate between reading more fanfic and watching those vids, and I should have some really sweet Robdreams tonight! Mmmm, is it bedtime yet?
YAY SRL!! A wild vivid sex dream with Rob and you on a diving board and his tongue sounds ohhh so hawtt! I always get those really good Rob dreams when I read fanfic before bed but it’s been a few nights so I think I’m over due for another. I’m heading downtown tonight for another session of dinner & drinks at Rob approved locations so I’ll be keeping my eye out for HHH. Have you decided if your going to Sam Bradley?
Genius videos. Thanks for postingJAG. Particularly FrenchRob one and the Robsten one was hawt, made perfect by TwiSmut theme tune!
First video was awesome love that song, adding it to my MP3
What a MAN! uhuh!! MIGHTY FINE MAN!!
Thanks for posting these great vids JAG. Here’s to yet another day of having nothing but smutty thoughts about this f*ckhawt man … after watching these vids and old/new hot pics again well let’s just say thank goodness it’s a Saturday I’m completely debilitated of doing anything remotely productive… *sigh* so what else is new? This man has so ruined me & all my panties… God help me if any hotter pics come out.
Well thank you for the writing inspiration today, girl. Just what I needed. Awesome job, as usual.
tby789,
Yes, JAG is such an inspiration to us all! I just want to say love, love, love your fan fic “The Office” it’s sooo well written… and well F**KHAWT SEXY, srsly wish it would be made into a movie starring HHH himself.
Look forward to reading more of your work… Thank you!!
tby789 – You rock girl! I absolutely love love you! Thank you so much for creating “The Office”. One of the best reads ever, I would have paid money for this story. I have praised the word of “The Office” to ALL of my friends and like myself we are waiting with baited breath for the next chapter. BTW, “Oui” was all kinds of awesome and I loved the suspense at the end. THANK YOU!!!
Can’t WAIT for your next chapter!!!!! LOVE YOUR WRITING!
Thank you for posting these, JAG. You absolutely fucking ROCK! You and FP, of course. Thank you for feeding our robsession.
As for pics of Rob, since they surfaced last night, I absolutely have no words. Only moans…
JAG … oh I LOVE the surprise you posted at the top!!! Can I assume it will go under the tab “The pics that are making hot!” after?
And great videos you chose for today’s post… seen (you know me)
but I never tire of seeing RobVideos. And that “funny” one … made me LOL for real.
And now you’ve gone & added all the pics!! I keep saying this but JAG you are the BEST!!! *smooches*
Oh dear god, I’ve only just managed to catch my breath after watching them on the vid and now the black shirt/sex hair is there for good on glorious link!!!
Christ woman, what are you trying to do to me??!!! (But I thank you dearly for doing it!!)
x
And now I’m typing drivle!
“link”?? I have no idea …… that word was supposed to be “loop”
Once again, brain is reduced to horny mush!
Here’s another RobVideo with the NEW/OLD pics to a different song … “I’ll Eat You Up”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm-0h3veecM
Soooo good!!
These pics are fabulous – and yes, I’m once again, dancing ’round the kitchen like a complete and utter numpty …..
It’s all Rob’s fault!
x
Rob’sYorkshireGirl … maybe those pics will make you have another lovely dream
There’s a serious possibility that my girlie bits are just going to explode!
I’m love, love, loving my daily dose of HisSexyHandsomeness, but you are just about killing me with the new pics! The pics of him in the black dress shirt just about top the GQ pics for me.
Must try to focus …… it’s all slipping ……. hot new pics of Rob, plus the start of the rugby season …… I’m going to be a shell of my former self by xmas!
x
RCC,
ooooh I like this vid + song much more… ” I’ll eat you up” he’s sooo yummy … thanks for posting.
RYG,
Yup, I’m n’sync with you dancing around my kitchen like a fool… think I may need to go outside for some fresh air…
GAH! I definitely want to eat him up!
I just scrolled up and WTF?! SURPRISE?
OMG I was trying not to look at the link and now it’s UP TOP….. >>> …… flat lining……
these pics…gah…so friggin’ gorgeous. I’ve only been awake for 20 minutes and the panties have already combusted…
One last RobVideo from me today to song “Obsession” … because we’re ALL Robsessed
OMG! YES!! Could he be any sexier??! I don’t think so! ;o)~
Sat here making the strangerst of noises ,when my Daughter walked in and ask me what the f**k was I watching to make me grunt and groan so much lol
I saved all these latest pics to my collection last night, which means they’ve automatically been added to my screensaver, and now, every time one of them flashes onto the screen I actually find myself whimpering (f*cking WHIMPERING?!) and making strange little “uh” noises. I thought by today I’d be o.k., but there they are again, rigt at the top of the page, and I feel like my fallopian tubes are reaching around inside me and strangling my tired, barren uterus. I have found many men attractive in the past, both in RL and from the world of entertainment, but I have NEVER been reduced to the blubbering, inchoherent mess of a woman that I now am, even when I was a hormonal teenager.
My house is filthy, my grass is 3 ft. high and, if she could, my cat would call the RSPCA to complain about neglect, cos all I do is sit on the sofa with my precious laptop. I’ve just had 2 weeks off work and I did NOTHING except read fanfic and come here (literally!) I am such a sad sack it’s not even funny anymore!
Amen sister I hear you… Im exactly the same… The “uh” noises the deep sighs and the wimpering lol… WTF as this man done to us!! I was a level headed woman… Now my kids think Ive lost it lol
LMFAO! fluffyliz your house sounds like it’s in the same condition that mine is, and we both spend our free time doing the same things! Rob is definitely the equivilent of a very addictive drug, and we are all addicts who should probably go to rehab. Yeah right, who am I trying to kid, like any of us would want that!
Venus, Spunk – thanks for your support ladies, which is appreciated (although the other side of it is that we all just “enable” one another!) Spunk, you’re right about Rob being a highly addictive drug – I know, cos in my youth I tried just about every drug known to man, but none made me as co-dependant as this. Rehab wouldn’t work, of course, because one has to WANT to stop …. and I DON’T WANT TO STOP … EVER!
I’d employ a cleaner, but I’d have to clean the house first before I could let a cleaner in LOL! As for the garden, well I have bought a strimmer and will give very consideration to using it some time before the end of autumn!
That should be “very careful consideration” of course, but typing is a skill I’m rapidly losing (something of a disadvantage in my job as a PA!)
Fluffy, sweetie – cleaners clean, gardeners garden. Easy.
We, on the other hand, are far too busy obsessing!
My life would be positively shambolic if I didn’t have these magical people around! Plus, added bonus, my gardener is sooooo damn cute it’s unreal, not on Rob’s unattainable higher level (Is there any man that is??) but it’s rather pleasant having the eye-candy tending to my borders!!
OMFG! Somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery! Those new pics are way too HOT to handle. That man is sexy beyond belief! Jag, you are a Godess, the best pimp that ever lived! I needed something to get my mind ready for some hot Robdreams and those pics are definitely going to do it for me! Gah! They’re like a drug! I can’t stop looking at them…scrolls up… Oh my! Oh shit! I AM DONE!
Wow.
Like I have said before, the man has the “eye fuck” down to an art form.
Those new pics? My fav. Ever. Wow.
Maybe I’m just crazy but I really hope that Rob and Kristen are not really together. Not because of anything stupid like jealousy or anything like that though. Just simply because I think she is a dead head, not really all that attractive and not nearly good enough for Rob.
I agree with you Ashley. I want Rob to be happy and I don’t have anything against Kristen but she’s just NOT good enough for him. I honestly don’t know who would be but I’m sure she’s out there. She needs to be insanely and inhumanly gorgeous, intelligent, kind hearted, funny and not self absorbed. Wait…I just described Rob as a female.
Sigh…
I don’t think it’s about looks for Rob. I happen to think Kristen is gorgeous but I also happen to see her inner beauty. I think she’s not a “traditional” woman in the sense that she has a LOT of inner strength and independence and I think the majority of women are VERY intimidated by her as a result. Whenever anyone says they don’t like her, I always question why. Women tend to hate/distrust what threatens them and Kristen definitely has a threatening personality.
I also think that her personality is an excellent match for Rob (slightly introverted, not self absorbed, smart, etc) and he always seems to be happy and carefree around her.
Not trying to start a fight. Just had to stick up for Kristen who is always getting knocked down and I’m not even sure why anymore..
This is my first post and I am very excited. *little wave* I love this website – glad I found some like minded women who are also insanely turned on by Rob. LOL. My friends and hubby think I need to enter a 12 step program. I like coming here and drool. The newest pictures of Rob are so HAWT. Yummy. Just want to eat him up.
On a different note, I would have to agree with WastingTheMorning’s comments about Kristen Stewart. I do not understand why people like bashing Kristen so much. She is a great young actress who is not mainstream Hollywood and I find her totally refreshing. She definitely beats to her own drum. She is not afraid to let her thoughts be known regardless of how it may be perceived by the media or general public. If you read any quotes from her present and past costars, they all have very complimentary things about her.
In regards to how Rob sees her? He has not been shy about his thoughts about her. In interviews, he has called her amazing, fierce, breathtakingly beautiful, strong … the list goes on. Personally, I think he absolutely adores her. Good for them if they are together. They seem like a very good match.
WTM and Barb. I’m not bashing Kristen, I don’t even dislike her. I do like her. I am just giving my opinion about who I personally would choose for Rob. I think Kristen is pretty but not gorgeous. I don’t know her so I can’t truly judge her personality traits. And….I know this is the real world and Rob gets to choose who he wants to be with..lol It does make me happy to think that Rob sees her as gorgeous and amazing and so on. If that is the case then heck who am I to say she’s not good enough. If he says she is then she is. I’ll trust him. So…thanks for helping me to see another side of this!
Hey ladies…just wanted to thank u for recommending me Wide Awake. I’ve just finished reading it and it has been occupying me the last 2 weeks. It’s SO AMAZING!!!! I’m speechless!! And then this youtube-video! And that song!! THis story MUST be turned into a real book! And a film!!
….it’s just soooooo GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!
Hawt! LOL
i LOVE surprises
*swoon*
I LOVE this website!! Thank you JAG for all the work you do to bring the hotness that is Rpatz to our homes. I’m a “newborn” (gaaah for real) and just discovered Twilight and Rob in July! Hard to believe I know…but I have alot catching up to do – so much Twi-porn to read….
OMG Welcome! You have so much catching up to do
JAG you are my favorite person today.
I agree. Wide Awake was pretty awesome! More suggestions would be great! That is the first fan fic I have read so I don’t want the next one that I read to be not as good. Oh, and by the way, I love Rob!
Ashley25 … think you’re new to RAoR right? Sundays are FF day so you can get lots of recommendations then. Plus look at the very, very top right side of blog … “TwiPorn Library”.
The Office is a favorite amongst many, many RAoR ladies.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4871509/1/The_Office
Okay, so I haven’t left yet, I just keep staring at the delicious, fuckhawt pics. I even put on some music to add to the “excitement”, Sex On Fire, anyone? Jag, I hope you have a lot of mops and buckets available for all the puddles around the world that need cleaning up!LOL!
SpunkRL … justFP posted those pics, partially “untagged”
http://thinkingofrob.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/pics-of-robert-pattinson-from-the-mark-segal-photoshoot-detagged/
Thanks RobCat – it was the only thing wrong with these pics, that they had such ridiculously large tags across each one, in one case right across his glorious face … bloody sacrilege!
Yep, these pix are Sex On Fire, spunkransomlover. Rob just friggin’ OWNS our asses with these hot,sexy photos, and he knows it!!!!!! All of these just scream, “fuck me”.