So if you read yesterday’s post you know that real life is causing me to lose my RobMojo so I had to come out with both barrels or maybe just one BIG BRITISH BARREL blazing today. heehee And that means cranking out a little bit of the sexy stuff. (the Sam post is coming along guys, I’ll be posting this week for sure, there’s vid to edit etc)
So here are the…
Top 5 reasons that Robert Pattinson should Neva-eva wear a belt, a rope, dental floss, a band-aid, chewing gum, a rubber band, spaghetti, shoe laces, the bra some chick left at his flat, or anything else to hold up his pants. It’s okay PattinPervs to use your tongue to keep his pants up but lets face it, if you’re anywhere near there…you won’t be trying to keep em up *wink*
A pictoral LIST!
This post def needs a little soundtrack to tell the story.
ONE
ArmPorn with a side of AssCandy. Thank gawd there aren't beltloops on sweatpants!
More LowRidingRob after the Jump…
TWO
DrunkRob is f*ckhawt but LowRidingDrunkRob is panty combusting!
THREE (a & b & c)
Exhibit A: The Happy TRAIL. The Holy Grail of the Robnatomy.
Exhibit B: aka The Treasure Trail...happiness (or at least a seriously badass BIG O) lies at the end.
Exhibit C: Seriously this doesn't even need a caption *POOF*
FOUR
Low Riding Sexpender AssCandy, f*ck it I had to slip it in there (that's what HE said)
FIVE
Ready to Sparkle RobWard. Vampires+Belt= FAIL *thank you New Moon Wardrobe Lady because I know you're not a DUDE after seeing this jizztastic pic!*
So did I miss any guys?
SOURCE: my smut-filled hard-drive
UPDATE FROM TODAY
I just had to post this pic, I just love it. He looks so beautiful against the city lights *sigh* & Yes, it's me he's talking to on the cell *wink*
More NEW PICS at http://twitpic.com/photos/FakerParis
Perhaps:
http://media.photobucket.com/image/robert%20pattinson%20sexy%20photos/HollyRae101/Twilight/HOT-robert-pattinson-3124139-468-1.jpg
I know there is a belt, but really it’s kinda like the buttons on his shirts. As long as he forgets how to buckle it, it’s all good!
I hate to break it to you but that is a photo manip! That is not really Rob’s body. I hate when I get fooled by manips…happens to me all the time!
Oy’s sorry – With the zillions of pics available why would anyone manip a picture?
OMG I fucking love love love that pic! I most definitely have a relious experience everytime I see it. Seriously. And yes, there is a belt but fuckin hellllloooooo……it’s undone!!!!! *poof*
It’s a fakey?!?!?!?!?! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCKETY!! FUCK!!!
How can NOT know it’s a fake?? Jeez, did Rob decided for that picture that he was in the mood to shave his very hairy arms? When I saw that picture I said, “What the hell happend to his hairy arms?” please compare first picture to last picture. You’ll can clearly see the difference. It was just like the “RedundiesRob” incident. I just feel sorry for the poor schmuck who get his head replaced by the sexiest man on the earth! Robalicious mmmm.
Hmmm JAG…I think you’ve got them all covered. Or uncovered, I should say. Those beltless pants in Montepulciano showed a nice bit of ass candy too, maybe you could grace us with one of those shots? Although the Robmuffins have deflated a bit lately…I’m still wondering where they went? I know you put a reward out for their safe return a few of months ago, any leads?
Am going back to worship at “the Holy Grail of Robnatomy” now. Oh crap, there go another pair of panties. Isn’t there some sort of expense account for Robsession? My underwear drawer is nearly empty. My mind still boggles at how something so wet can still explode into flames.
For the love of all that is HOLY…
Today is going to be a fab day. How can it not be starting off looking at all the trails on this man’s body? Happytrail alone is enough to die over and over again!
Honestly, he has NO idea what he does to us, right? If so, does he do this to us to drive us insane? Probably not. Pics like these are his gift to us whether he realizes it or not.
Rob, once you said that when all the girls where screaming that you wanted to ask them what they wanted instead of just standing there.
All you have to do is be yourself…THAT is WHAT we want from you…just to admire your beauty and all of those nervous habits and bodily features that you have going on!
For the adult women, photos like those above, are worth YOUR weight in gold…GOLD I SAY…second only to those of hand/hair porn. Thirdly, I would have to say if freckleporn…
I could go on and on, but I’ll let someone else go…
JAG, another homerun with this one…
Thinking about all the things I wanna to say…
Just left me:
I wanna do him, period. (LOL)
XoXO
Brazilian Girl
Well…..FUCK ME.
Number 3′s happy trail has made me all..well..HOT.
That one’s my iphone screen saver, god I love it when somebody calls !
Me too, and I’m in line right behind you. Screw “getting seconds.” I just want it, doesn’t matter what number I am!
Getting in line behind Christina.
Love #3 too… beautiful! I think it’s sweet that he truly doesn’t realize what he’s stirring up w/ the non-teenagers/older women. Me being one of them. I’m crazy for lusting after a younger man. haha
Ahem– *cough, cough* Ooohhh yeeaaah!
WARNING: Possible jizztyping may ensue after JAG’s fuckaliscious posting, NOT.MY.FAULT. pleading the Rob or happytrail!
First off, I don’t know if I want to ogle the pics of alluring mystery or get busy by slipping my fingers into the waistband and ripping the fuckers off! *fans self* Calm down Christina, your fucktastic meter is skyrocketing….Mmmm, rocket- as in pocket rocket, as in I know what I’d like to rock.
Ummm, I got nothing, insert *jizztyping, jizztyping, jizztyping*
I want to fuck him badly! fingers, hair, stubble, jaw, :thud:
*jizztyping, jizztyping, jizztyping*
Ah, me so horny, love you long time! just a little tug downward- mmmm, that’s the good stuh-uuufff!
*jizztyping, drool, jizztyping*
I wanna sex you, baybeh! fucking waistband of his underwear, I’ve never been happier to wonder down a trail!
*jizztyping, blacks out, more jizztyping*
Baby what’s your fantasy, I wanna give it to you. Hands over head while he’s looking down at me as I crawling my way up his legs to tug those fuckers off to lick down his Treasure Trail. The treasure- yeah, IT’S A FUCKING GOLD MINE!
*jizz in my pants, jizztyping, more jizz in my pants*
Can’t go on…. seeing the light…. the devil is welcoming me to the sweetest hell……gotta say..
“I…I.wanna.run.my.hands.down.the.silver.shirt.to.
grab.on.to.the.sexpenders.for.leverage.and.
plummet.in.to.the.wooly.hell.of.fuckhawtness.in.
Italy.with.freeballin.’trouser.snake.having.Rob.
I.AM.DIED.”
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Robgasm Comatose
Christina, you warned me to prepare myself first thing this morning, So I did. I mozied around the BBR, and Autumns thread getting all caught up. I spent time reading some updates. I spoke to my brother on the phone, I caught up on emails and procrastinated mightily cos I knew what was going to happen…
So with coffee and cadburys chocolate fingers sitting at a safe distance away from the keyboard I opened the site and held my breath…..
Sweetholymotherfulhourmercifulmotherofgod and JESUS. EFFING. WEPT.
The happy path leading to the happy trail and on to the magic kingdom leaves me incoherent.
I have these pictures on my itouch and I have to approach them with caution every shagging time cos I near lose the run of myself every time I see them. Spontaneous knicker explosions invariably follow every bloody time.
Check google earth, see that little puff of smoke to the left of Dublin? Thats me and my knicker drawer up in flames.
Shiv.
I just love you, my dear Irish hoor.
That is all.
(And I have yet to catch up in BBR… But the twin filled my box overnight with excess amounts of eye candy. I’ve already died three times at my desk this morning.)
Oh, and you too, XXXtina. You know your naughtiness does me in.
This blog post leaves me completely undone. I know that sorting through pictures of Rob’s ass was an excruciating task, and I appreciate you for it.
I can’t tell you how much downtime I had at work after this picture came out:
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i303/girltiffany/exhibitf.jpg
And then there is this picture (even though hitching up the pants is certainly frowned upon, there is the added bonus of FingerPorn/arm length porn):
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i303/girltiffany/exhibite.jpg
And with that ma’dear (THANKS, BTW!) I’m off to find my Robator for a Robgasmic Vagisplode….. I mean, I’m just going to sleep. I don’t Robsturbate, hehe.
Night all, see ya tomorrow.
*tiptoes off to look for her “special” toys*
THANK YOU Tiff! Those are exactly the pics I was talking about. I just don’t have them uploaded to my photobucket yet…they’re still on my hard drive.
Yeah, I said it.
No belt on thats right! Ahhh all the acess to happytrail and robslumber, it makes me exited and worked up, and ya know in what way I mean..
Imagine backing him up against the wall in a dark corner, he looks a little suprised but dosent complain, and you start running your toung down his jaw, meet his georegus lips and bite the underlip just sligtly, then working your lips and toung down his neck, to his upperbody (his shirt has magically just dissapered now), his pecs and follow the happitrail slowly while looking for the reaction of “are you gonna do it” on his face, and yeah you gonna do it! You know you will! As you are getting closer you can hear his intake of breath increasing, and as you are pulling his pants down, he closes his eyes and let out a groan, as you start to work on RobsLumber.. *poof* Dahm thats hawt!
Ah what the hell, the panties have to be changed anyway, LOL…
Ok I think I need a cold shower now.
Rob waiting for me in there would be the real treat thou.
That was fucking hawt! You should write some fanfic TwiPorn.
Haha thanks JAG:)
Yeah Ive been thinking about doing that for some time now.. Well, now Ive finished my education, Ive got quite some free time, before Im going on vacation.. So I think I will start slowly putting some pices together and then see how it goes…
I have alot of ideas, to a short story, especially some naughty ideas about, Rob naked and wet in the forrest getting his freak on, and pleasing his lady by using some hmm.. natural settings.. (rocks, trees and such, you get the picture).. But I guess you have to wait and see till Ive finished something..
BTW.. Its mostly Rob Ive naughty ideas about, so if I should writhe something, it would be a story about him.. A bit freaky I guess, but dahm hawt.. I have no intention of meeting him in real life, so why not have a dirty little fun;)
Hmmm.. Just some notes to what I just written.. With vacation I mean holiday (I just remenbered that it means something else, LOL)..
And with “pleasing his lady by using some hmm.. natural settings.. (rocks, trees and such, you get the picture)..” I mean leaning on them, not using them as dildos.. I am a perv but not in that kind of kinky way.. LOL
@Ann you should start with some one-shots. I love one-shots, quick, dirty, one chappy.
I love PattinPorn, starring RealRob my fave.
Yeah just my tought, I have written some of my thoughts down tonight, so theres comeing some more PattinPorn to Twilighted, soon:)
Between pictures and this, I’m a goner.
wow are those his PUBES in three and four? jesuschristalmighty
three and five actually – got lost in the happytrail pics somewhere lol
thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you……….mmmmmmmmmmmm…thank you
Jesus Christ on a cracker!
After a night spent at the airport and 3 hours sleep, this was just the fuel I needed to get my motor running.
Sweet soundtrack too I might add.
*vroom vroom*
Well, sigh. There goes any brain cell I had left. Poof. I am a Robzombie again….Drooool. Fucking Happy Trail Heaven….. DIED….
Jag you have to check this video out. (If you haven’t all ready) Some fingerlickingRobporn.
http://www.poptv.com/2009/06/16/robert-pattinson-on-the-set-of-remember-me/
I especially like the smoking. Dunno why. Nasty habit, I need to kick myself. But there’s something about Rob doing bad things that pushes me over the edge. Maybe it’s the clean cut moral boys he usually plays on screen. Edward, Cedric, Danial. I love seeing him say or do something dirty or baaad! insted.
The way he blows that smoke out HOTDAMN! and wrapping his lips around that coffee stirrer! It’s enough to make a girl come undone!
I forgot to mention the finger/hair porn too! Mewh!
Okay, the Happy Trail and Low Riding Sexpender AssCandy are pretty good (who am I kidding? they’re fuckin’ awesome…). But the sexy hip V action on Ready to Sparkle RobWard? *drool* *swoon* *thud*
But I’m still a HandPorn/FingerPorn girl at heart, and I just had to share this picture from yesterday:
http://i672.photobucket.com/albums/vv84/fragilelittlehuman/rp_rm_hand.png
Must. Stop. Looking. *thud*
Whooooaaa… Those hands… *drools* I super adore his hands. I wish I could see his feet too.
Wow that’s a great picture HAWT!
OMG – so much hotness for a Tuesday morning!! How am I going to concentrate on work now????
JAG – re: the music, we must be on the same wavelength. When I first saw #3a (Holy Grail pic) and did right-click/save with shaking hands, I named the file “lowrider.”
#5 – holy fuck! So close I can almost taste it! (That’s what she said) *poof!*
GOOD LORD WOMAN! Are you trying to kill me?!? All of that happy trail in one little post?!?
DIED. I can already tell that I will be making multiple…um….visits….to this post today.
I <3 your face! I'm sorry that RL is getting you down.
JAG, you outdid yourself again woman! I blacked out with all the happy trail fuckhawtness.
Robward #5 is the best shot of all his gloriness! He’s totally not wearing any underwear and you can see the full happy trail leading to the best prize EVAH.. *poof*
jeezuschryst he’s fucking beautiful *swoon*
JAG, JAG, JAG, you must really not want me to get any work done today. That first picture is one of my all time faves. It looks like he’s waiting for me to come home. *wink*
And there can never be enough of the happy trail. I love that trail. And Robward…I can’t talk about that picture yet….still basking in all that beautiful glory.
All the pics you picked today JAG are to die for, no doubt about it, but there’s something about pic #3 that really makes me… Oooooh yeahhh… something about the way he puts his hood up, the jawline and thank Gawd that happy trail.. oh sorry The Happy Trail.. nom nom nom, not to say those lips.. NOM NOM NOM..
And well the last pic: those trousers have to go, both cos they’r aweful and cos well, they’r useless.
Not surprising that they had to keep him indoor whenever he was not shooting that day, otherwise all the walk-on girls started to scream and shout … jeeesh I can’t believe I was few feets away (not on set unfortunately) when there was all this glory on display *sighs,sobs,pouts*
I’m saying this alot the past few days, but it is warranted…
HOLY JESUS WOMAN!! You know how I love skipping down that little happy trail all the way to my happy little ending (well, not little…have you SEEN those feet?).
I’m guessing you got your mojo, or as I like to call it, Robjo back!
Ahhhh, yes. THIS is my happy place. Feeling oh so much better now. Thanks JAG.
Your post is perfect today, very timely for my life. I FINALLY got my EW yesterday. The one with a shirtless Ryan Reynolds with the fur & V flaring all over the cover. I’m not hot for Ryan Reynolds, so it was doing nothing for me. But, it was sitting on the counter and hubs says…”I hate it when guys wear their pants SO low and that muscle pops out there (pointing to the V.) It doesn’t even look good…Does it?” Then looks at me with eager expectant eyes to ease his faultering ego. Ummmmm. Sorry babe. It’s F*CKHAWT!!!! NO, I didn’t say that, but I laughed my ass off on the inside.
Heehee men can be so Clueless. Next time you see cleavage on a girl, say the same thing and watch his reaction LOL
For the love of all things that are holy, thank you woman! This is candy to my eyes.
JAG Excellent, Jizztastic post as always..
But I think it needs a little bit of something more spicier.
JAG I’ll make it short and simple…..and one word
FREEBALLING…
I know he does that…you know he does that
How ?? Because we both stare at pictures of his crotch and we know when we see them whether he is freeballing or not.
So….here’s the infamous Italy picture with the butt crack showing…
http://justjared.buzznet.com/gallery/photos.php?yr=2009&mon=05&evt=pattinson-shirtless&pic=robert-pattinson-new-moon-shirtless-07.jpg
What can I say my mind is ALWAYS in the gutter when I think of Rob..
Rob baby, never, wear underwear…the boys need to breathe…
Oh thank you! We shoudl so make it a worl wide law that he never use anything to secure his pants above his hips lol THANK YYOU!!!
Agreed!
A friend emailed this link…
Just old pictures…but nice pictures and yes, there are the GQ pcitures
Holy shit on a stick! Thank you So much for these Tuesday morning Robgasmic photos. I agree with Shiv: “the happy path leading to the happy trail and on to the magic kingdom leaves me incoherent.” You said it girl! Ann, I love that scenario you wrote, and the part where you say he lets out a groan, I add to that, he lets out a feral growllllllll(yeah, too much fanfic). Girls, after all these photos, videos and your comments, there is no more of my underwear left in my house AT ALL.All I can say is, Freeballin Commando Rob forever!!!
This picture makes me sad and want to hug him
http://twitpic.com/86qwf
It is after those crazy bitches in NY attacked him…
Hopefully things had gotten better…
Dear JAG,
WHY did you complain about your Mojo leaving again? Srsly, I think (from this POV) it looks incredibly intact right now. This post might or might not have helped me get through the first half of the day. AND I just spend the last half hour of lunch going through it again. AND saved pictures (again). <3 your face!!!
Please tell me this beautiful man is getting him some action. As much as I would like to be the giver, I realize that is impossible right now. I don’t know who it would be and I can’t say I wouldn’t want to claw her eyes out from jealousy….but he is too fucktastic to not be geting any lovin. Surely he is…..don’t you think??
Or maybe he is just getting himself off…..*poof*…….that image is almost too much to process…..oh to be a fly on his shower wall
Oh Amy,
Your post struck a chord in me…I bother about these things too like is he getting some because I feel it is such a waste of a beautiful and sexy man if he is not being fucked thoroughly every day in all positions and several surfaces and several times and notice I say fucked and not loved, even though he must be loved too tenderly…I just don’t know why this bothers me.
I was especially bothered during New Moon Italy shoot, the day KStew had to throw herself against him over and over again. *damn I hate that girl*
Well, he was freeballing that day and yes, I stared enough to know that for sure and I hoped he had grabbed a fan, a maid or an extra if Kristen was not giving it to him because I could see the Robnana in pictures and it bothered me..Well it made me bothered in other ways too..
And I could not stand that he has to give himself relief…seemed such a waste to me…But Foof made a good point…like you did…the image of him getting him off..
Ok….I will finish this post now..I may be blacking out…
*seeing spots *
* Poof *
JAG if I am not back please send the Robmedics. I may need my heart jumpstarted.
Seriously. I need to say that you ladies have killed me. Yep. AND I’m at work. This is NOT a good thing. Thanks for that. Not sure how I’m going to recover.
I’ve never been so happy to imagine that he left his belt tied up on some ho-bag’s bedpost. Thank god for the ho-bag. And that he’s not a shopper and won’t be replacing the belt anytime soon.
Love that soft fluff of manfur. Makes me want to buy some body-chocolate for dessert.
THANK YOU FOR MY DRUNK ROB!!!!!!! DRUNK ROW LIDING ROB IS FUCK HAWT!
Yes, I got so distracted that I couldn’t even write -> low riding correctly
Great post JAG.
Love that last pic from last night.
Are you Jizz typing Janetrigs?
TY Jag. Why do his pubes like more and more exagerrated everytime i see shirtless robward?
I would like to add that seeing Rob walk around in SWEATPANTS is my new peen obsession and desire!
Someone posted TAYTAY’s little TEETEE in those sweatpants from a million years back (ew, underage and small LOL).
BUT NOW I’M ROBSESSING ABOUT SEEING ROB GO COMMANDO IN SWEATPANTS PULLED UP LOL! altho i love the ass candy in this one, I need PeenCandy now. LOL
Well, if you like the rear view… and, Shiv, you know I’m talking to you, hon…
http://i610.photobucket.com/albums/tt184/whynot42/1111111111111INFphoto_985956wtmk_pr.jpg
Fuck, I’ve missed you JAG!
And why quit with no belt? I vote for no clothes at all!
you’ve done it now Autumn. You’ve gone and killed me. Between that and the wake up sex in C and D and this arse shot I’m useless for the rest of the evening. I know EXACTLY what I want to do to his backside. I also know EXACTLY what I want to do with the rest of him.
You dirty hoors have a shocking effect on me.
How is it even possible that in addition to all his other god-like qualities, he’s also blessed with the finest ass in the land?
I mean, so many men have flat-butt syndrome, but not our Rob.
*sigh* I think he may be perfect in every way.
Autumn Ive missed you ((hugs)) That picture is Jizztastic!
ummm, I can’t breathe…. *fans self*
That is a beautiful pic of his ass. Its it wrong that I want to violate it?
heh, heh
my mind just went ti dirty girl land AGAIN, wont be back for a while, forward my mail and my phone calls
I love this site!
I love how he’s keeping that hoodie on the old school way… circa kindergarten. Just wearin’ the hood. The only thing that would make this more chic is a juice box. Hahaha… I love NY Rob.
hee hee *blushing at the pics*
pic #2, his pants are looooooow eh?
exhibit c, his shirt is shiny…isnt it..
thanks you for throwing in #4
JAG….All I can say is: Thank you, thank you, thank you, darlin’! Having a sh*t day @ work, and this is my great reward for looking at RAoR at lunch!I’ll be singing “Happy Trails” to myself all day long!!!!
OMGawd! He’s just too f-ing hot……
Nothing that hides the trail should be allowed near him…he should never be allowed to get his hands on a belt (or a shirt, or pants for that matter) again….but, if he must wear pants…the sexpenders are a totally different story….*THUD*
OMG!!!! Does that man have any idea what he does to women? Everytime I come to this site I fall in LOVE and LUST all over again. I can seem to get enough of Robporn. Hey Jag, how about adding to Rob on Demand with a couple of little comments from his interview on The Ladies Room. Like where he says she should throw her panties at him even if she is 33. Also, near the end when he laughs and says he doesn’t like anything TOO moist.